Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. *licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as I suspected. wind.
   
2. I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
   
3. I`ve created a shoe made out of Legos, so when you step on Lego it doesn`t hurt. You just get taller.
   
4. Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
   
5. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
   
6. FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
   
7. The iPhone 5S: Because the NSA wants your thumbprint now too.
   
8. Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
   
9. I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
   
10. is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
    
11. Picture a scavenger hunt where the only items on the list are "your house keys" and "your house." Well, son, that`s what drinking is like.
    
12. One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
    
13. Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
    
14. They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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