Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. I`m always surprised how quickly "you`re so funny" turns into "everything is a fcuking joke to you." (usually about 3 months)
   
2. Tonight I plan on drinking until I`m someone else`s problem
   
3. I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
   
4. How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
   
5. If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
   
6. I´ll never be old enough to know better.
   
7. I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
   
8. The human body can survive three weeks without food, three days without water but only three hours without wifi.
   
9. Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad."
   
10. I`m so great, I`m jealous of myself.
    
11. I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
    
12. Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that’s my Dad for ya.
    
13. Where is the button to restart summer?
    
14. Shout out to the single lady I saw buying a bunch of Duracell batteries on Valentine`s Day.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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