Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Everyone around me keeps telling me I`m mean ... Which is absurd ... Plus, they`re ugly.
   
2. Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
   
3. Being rich doesn`t equal happiness but i`d rather cry in a ferrari
   
4. Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
   
5. I`m home by myself this evening. My wife is out at Kohl`s buying another load of laundry.
   
6. It’s not you. It’s me finally realizing that you’re terrible.
   
7. Flies are everywhere, unfortunately the second I grab the fly swatter, they turn into ninjas.
   
8. There`s always cake to celebrate happy moments, but I really think cake would do better during the bad times. Got fired? Have a cake.
   
9. May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
   
10. The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated.
    
11. My box of animal crackers says "May contain nuts." So I`m inspecting each animal before I eat it...just in case.
    
12. Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT
    
13. If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
    
14. Sexual education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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