Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
   
2. At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
   
3. Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
   
4. In some ways I’m just like a dog…. I can’t be trusted around unsupervised food.
   
5. I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
   
6. I`ve been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat.
   
7. There are two ways to go about arguing with a woman and neither one works.
   
8. I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
   
9. My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Mike.
   
10. The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth.
    
11. These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
    
12. Dance like no one´s going to put it on YouTube.
    
13. Just when you want to be a good person again , someone new to stalk shows up
    
14. The Family Reunion went pretty good until they all figured out that I wasn`t related to any of them
    
    
    
    
    
    

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