Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
   
2. Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...
   
3. Tonight’s forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
   
4. I`m going to hell in every religion!
   
5. My kids keep bugging me about dinner, even after I keep telling them I already ate.
   
6. Some days, I think that Dexter dude has the right idea.
   
7. Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
   
8. Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
   
9. Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
   
10. There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
    
11. If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
    
12. Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
    
13. New favorite term: Multislacking. It’s nice to find a name for something you’re good at.
    
14. When I say I can cook, I mean I can melt cheese on stuff.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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