Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Any of you girls wanna come over tonight for pizza and sex? ... I`m just kidding. There`s no pizza.
   
2. Working from home means I save money on train tickets and pants, but spend more on vodka and pizza.
   
3. I pay $200 a month for car insurance, I`ll run all the red lights I want
   
4. I just saw a gang of really drunk mosquitoes leave my arm and high-five each other. Weird.
   
5. My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
   
6. But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
   
7. Whenever I`m sad, you`re there. Whenever I`m having problems, you`re always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you`re always there. Lets face it. You`re bad luck.
   
8. I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a puppy, or just a burrito.
   
9. I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
   
10. ... and so begins another failed hundred or so attempts at trying to write the correct year on anything I date.
    
11. Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.
    
12. I hear you`ve been very naughty ... Go to my room!
    
13. What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
    
14. Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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