Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
   
2. I need to unbutton my pants just thinking about how much I’m going to eat this week.
   
3. You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
   
4. There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
   
5. Boobs, because you can`t motorboat a personality.
   
6. Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
   
7. If thought bubbles appeared over our heads, I would get punched in the face a lot more.
   
8. Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant
   
9. Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart
   
10. Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it`s your neighbor`s window and they`re calling the cops?
    
11. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
    
12. When my girlfriend texted me "I`m enjoying 5 guys in bed" I was quite surprised to arrive and find no hamburgers
    
13. Some of the best memories I have are of times right before the cops showed up.
    
14. If I die, bury me with fire extinguishers. Because: Hell
    
    
    
    
    
    

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