Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. If I won the lottery, I don`t think I would change much. I`d still be the same asshole, just one in a helicopter.
   
2. Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
   
3. You, my friend, deserve a high-five... that’s four more fingers than I normally give.
   
4. I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.
   
5. I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn`t punch them in the head as soon as they got here.
   
6. Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
   
7. Head & Shoulders needs to come out with a body spray that will help repel flakey people from my life.
   
8. It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
   
9. Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
   
10. Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
    
11. If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
    
12. If I had a dollar for every time I had a nickel.......
    
13. Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
    
14. If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I`d have enough money to invest in a hitman
    
    
    
    
    
    

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