Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. "I`d hit that" -old people who drive
   
2. One of the first things they tell you in AA is to stop hanging around alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back.
   
3. Sometimes I order Domino`s but give them Pizza Hut`s address. And when they show up and start fighting, I just wait with my mouth open.
   
4. If Freud was alive today he would probably be awesome at telling "Yo Momma" jokes.
   
5. Why do we say "A word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones who need it?
   
6. "This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks
   
7. "I like your tree`s earring." ... "That`s a tire swing."
   
8. Why is it when you have a day off you seem to bounce out off bed at 6am, but the days you go to work, it takes a forklift and 2 sticks of dynamite to separate me from my pillow??
   
9. I`m working harder than an ugly stripper!!
   
10. Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
    
11. I’m not the kind of person you ever put on speaker phone.
    
12. If it`s any consolation, your Doppelganger is probably having a really awesome day.
    
13. That awkward moment when you type your password where you should`ve typed your email, and your friend`s standing right there -___-
    
14. We think therefore we must be, but are we?
    
    
    
    
    
    

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