Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. If you figure me out I want an explanation.
   
2. In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
   
3. I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
   
4. So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
   
5. My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
   
6. Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
   
7. Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: ‘last warning, you have a week to get the money together.’
   
8. Why is the guy who serves you at the restaurant called a waiter, when it is you that is waiting?
   
9. Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took....
   
10. My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
    
11. “Yes” is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many drinks you’ve consumed.
    
12. I did all I can do. I can´t do no more
    
13. Apparently showing the pharmacist a picture of my wife was not a good enough reason to get Valium without a prescription.
    
14. Anyone who calls it a "day off with the kids"... Either has no kids or doesn`t know what "day off" means.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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