Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. 3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
   
2. Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
   
3. Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
   
4. Yesterday I jokingly asked my wife what she was burning for dinner. Turns out it was all my personal belongings.
   
5. Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
   
6. Technically, I don`t have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I`m not doing anything.
   
7. You know you are getting old when people keep telling you how young you look.
   
8. Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
   
9. If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot...
   
10. Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I`m ready now.
    
11. How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
    
12. Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
    
13. I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
    
14. Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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