Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
   
2. If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
   
3. Why is it that everyone you hate has such a better job than you?
   
4. Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
   
5. Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
   
6. Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......
   
7. Just bought me a medical alert bracelet that says... "probably just sh!tfaced"
   
8. If you ever come over unannounced, it`ll take me at least three minutes to answer the door because there is no way I was already wearing pants.
   
9. One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
   
10. Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
    
11. People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
    
12. I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
    
13. I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
    
14. I`m returning these Gushers. They taste like sh!t. "Sir. Those are paintballs." Oh. I`m returning these paintballs. Someone ate a few.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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