Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. I only say "God bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
   
2. Boss: Are you high? Me: You and I both know that I don`t make enough money to have a drug habit.
   
3. I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
   
4. If I had a mood ring on today, it`d be flashing like a disco ball!
   
5. If we aren`t supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there?
   
6. So you constantly feel sorry for yourself and feel the need to tell everyone all about it. I can’t imagine why he left you.
   
7. There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
   
8. Punctuality is a waste of time since no one is ever there to appreciate it.
   
9. Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
   
10. Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
    
11. I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
    
12. If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
    
13. At the end of each day, life should ask us, `Do you want to save the changes?`
    
14. I wish there was a way to find out how many boners you’ve caused in a lifetime, I wanna check my stats.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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