Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
   
2. Spoiler alert: this milk expired five days ago
   
3. Why is it that everyone you hate has such a better job than you?
   
4. Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth
   
5. I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
   
6. "What doesn`t kill you makes you smaller." -Super Mario
   
7. Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
   
8. I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
   
9. Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself.
   
10. Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
    
11. New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
    
12. Technically, if you don`t cut the cake, it`s still just one slice.
    
13. If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
    
14. DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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