Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
   
2. Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight. - The Swiss Army
   
3. When anyone ask me to babysit, I ask if their kid is a "mean drunk" or a "happy drunk." Gets me out of it every time.
   
4. Everyone has that one friend that can turn any conversation into something dirty....I am usually that friend.
   
5. Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
   
6. It`s almost Valentines Day and I still don`t know what to get myself yet.
   
7. Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would`ve been if he`d eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.
   
8. Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
   
9. Just got legitimately excited when I remembered I can pay a person to drive a pizza to my house
   
10. ?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
    
11. I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!
    
12. Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
    
13. If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
    
14. "Oh my god, you`ve gotten so fat! Want me to make you something to eat?" - my mom
    
    
    
    
    
    

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