Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. If I work up the courage to tell you I love you...the least you can do is introduce yourself to me dammit.
   
2. It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
   
3. This beer tastes like future mistakes.
   
4. Walked into the kitchen for orange juice; walk out with sandwich, crackers, chocolate milk, and the TV remote I lost 30 minutes ago
   
5. Alcohol. Because who really wants to remember last night?
   
6. You can stay, but your clothes must go.
   
7. I like playing with my dog when I`m high. Because I don`t have one when I`m sober.
   
8. The computers were down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire.
   
9. If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
   
10. My boyfriend asked me why I bother watching cooking shows when I cant cook so I asked why he bothered watching porn.
    
11. I am so clever sometimes I don`t even understand what I`m saying.
    
12. I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
    
13. Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I`m the proud owner of aisle 7.
    
14. Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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