Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. I would like to think that I`ll die heroic death saving someone`s life but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my shoelaces and choke on a spoonful of Nutella.
   
2. If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years. Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
   
3. So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
   
4. I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
   
5. Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.
   
6. I was sitting in traffic the other day. That’s probably why I got run over.
   
7. It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
   
8. Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
   
9. Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
   
10. Sometimes I use big words that I don’t fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
    
11. If you were a cookie, you’d be a whoreo.
    
12. Christmas is truly a magical time. It`s made all my money disappear!
    
13. "That`s close enough..." ~Government worker
    
14. Words of Wisdom: Don`t cover your mouth when you sneeze. You`ll get snot and stuff all over your hands
    
    
    
    
    
    

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