Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. My girlfriend said she wasn`t impressed and felt she needed a man with at least 6 inches. So I folded it in half.
   
2. Dumped my multiple personality girlfriend yesterday. She took it well, not so well, and she was really upset...
   
3. After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that`s not done at this hotel....
   
4. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
   
5. FACT: Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you’re brave enough.
   
6. If history repeats itself, I´m totally getting a dinosaur.
   
7. I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision.
   
8. This company doesn`t know how much of an asset I am.. Or an ass-sit. They really should pay more attention.
   
9. If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
   
10. I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed.
    
11. I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
    
12. Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
    
13. You say toilet, I say alcohol vomit receptacle.
    
14. I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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