Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. It just dawned on me why Mayberry was so peaceful and quit, cause nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, The Darlins, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara. The only one married was Otis, and he stayed drunk!
   
2. I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn`t park anywhere near the place
   
3. I suffer from paranoid-schizophrenic indifference. I really don`t care what the voices in my head are saying behind my back.
   
4. Oh, he uses you for sex? Stop bitching…Sex is awesome. Complain when he’s using you for laundry….. or a human shield.
   
5. Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
   
6. has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
   
7. If a man doesn`t drink when he`s living, how in the hell can he drink when he`s dead?
   
8. How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.
   
9. All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
   
10. Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
    
11. I don’t trust public opinion polls because they don’t take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots.
    
12. It seems like the ‘L’ in my luck has been replaced with an ‘F’.
    
13. People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
    
14. Card on top of gift reads `I want you wearing this tonight` only to open the gift to find NOTHING
    
    
    
    
    
    

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