Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?
   
2. Note To Self: Even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal.
   
3. You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
   
4. When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
   
5. I sleep better naked…why can’t the flight attendant understand this?
   
6. You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
   
7. Moms birthday is next week. I can’t find a card that says “I wish you loved me more than vodka.”
   
8. Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
   
9. Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
   
10. auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
    
11. My new dating profile just says "I`m tired of masturbating."
    
12. I wouldn`t mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren`t coming from my wife.
    
13. Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
    
14. I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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