Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
   
2. Sorry I`m late... I accidentally pulled the chain on the ceiling fan one too many times for like 9 hours straight.
   
3. It appears that autocorrect has become my worst enema.
   
4. Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
   
5. Do NOT accept friend requests from Hormel Foods, it could be spam...
   
6. I try to live by two rules: 1. Don’t make fun of stupid people (they cant help it) 2. Don’t be stupid (people will make fun of you)
   
7. What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What are nuts on the chest? Chestnuts. What are nuts against a chin? Blow job.
   
8. When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
   
9. Treasure the years with your children while they are still distracted by bubbles.
   
10. In an effort to explain marriage to my son I put Dora the Explorer on in Spanish and told him to figure it out or he sleeps on the couch.
    
11. Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
    
12. Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
    
13. Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.
    
14. Apparently asking girl scouts which cookie pairs nicely with whiskey is inappropriate....
    
    
    
    
    
    

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