Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I break wind in my sleep.
   
2. i am not so think, as you drunk i am
   
3. After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that`s not done at this hotel....
   
4. Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
   
5. "You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
   
6. The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
   
7. You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
   
8. Even when I’m home alone, I still answer Jeopardy questions out loud.
   
9. Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
   
10. I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
    
11. Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
    
12. The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
    
13. I wouldn’t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
    
14. Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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