Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

Daily Silly Status has scoured the internet for the most witty statuses, silly statuses and down right funny statuses. We are pleased to now share our findings with you our Daily Silly Status readers. Enjoy our growing collection of over 25,000 silly statuses and share them with your friends and family and help bring a smile, chuckle or laugh others. Remember to check in for daily updates.

1. My girlfriend is half my size but takes up three quarters of the bed. If my math is correct, she’s a b!tch
   
2. It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
   
3. “Have you tried just drinking ALOT of vodka?”- me as a therapist
   
4. the WORLDS shortest joke..... "2 women were sitting together quietly
   
5. I don`t need to go to church in order to feel ashamed of myself on Sunday morning.
   
6. Dear Alcohol, Will you be my valentine? ?
   
7. As I slide down this bannister we call life, you, and you alone, are the splinter in my ass
   
8. I slept on the sofa last night which is weird because I`m not even married.
   
9. Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.
   
10. I bet my mom is looking down on me right now, wherever she is. She`s not dead, just very condescending.
    
11. If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.
    
12. If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
    
13. Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
    
14. Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
    
    
    
    
    
    

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