Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
   
2. When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
   
3. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
   
4. If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
   
5. Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
   
6. The awkward moment when you set something down for a second and it disappears off the face of the earth.
   
7. If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you`re the worst employee at a toy factory
   
8. Even if your life was a total waste of space, there’s always hope that you’ll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.
   
9. Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
   
10. My phone tried to autocorrect "f*cking" to "f*ck king," and I was like hell yeah I am.
    
11. If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
    
12. Apparently putting alka seltzers in my pockets while getting baptized and pretending I`m possessed by the devil is not funny.
    
13. "I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
    
14. At what number beer are you offically not working from home anymore?
    
    
    
    
    
    

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