Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. I`m always surprised how quickly "you`re so funny" turns into "everything is a fcuking joke to you." (usually about 3 months)
   
2. You know your fat when you sit in the bath tub and the water in the toilet rises.
   
3. HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they`re transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise.
   
4. My life is a lot like Ikea furniture with missing instructions. I’ll get it together eventually but it won’t ever feel quite right.
   
5. My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
   
6. If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
   
7. Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture
   
8. Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
   
9. I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
   
10. The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
    
11. Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
    
12. I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
    
13. Typical: you have nothing to wear for a party and suddenly the rabbits, the birds and the mice begin to sew you a dress
    
14. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around and THAT`S what it`s all about
    
    
    
    
    
    

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