Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. My wife is pissed at me again. Apparently I`m breathing wrong.
   
2. Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
   
3. If you’re going to walk a mile in my shoes… Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
   
4. Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
   
5. Cold? Try Netflix. You’ll still be cold, but you’ll be watching Netflix.
   
6. Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
   
7. I go both ways. I like hard AND soft tacos.
   
8. I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
   
9. I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
   
10. I haven`t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn`t want to interrupt her.
    
11. Just once, I`d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur.
    
12. If they made a movie of my life, it would just be a lot of scenes where I`m looking for something to wipe my hands on.
    
13. Not many people can say their Batman wallet matches their underwear like I can.
    
14. I`m going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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