Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
   
2. My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
   
3. I like people. I just don`t want them talking to me. Or breathing near me. Or making me look up from my phone.
   
4. Good news: I can still do a full split! Bad news: It wasn`t on purpose!
   
5. You know you`re getting old when you`re looking forward to some time off so you can have like three doctors appointments.
   
6. Wake up, kids! Bees can`t even read, much less spell. IT`S A SCAM!
   
7. When a cashier asks if you have a rewards card, look down, sigh, and say, "My wife took everything when she left"
   
8. Here’s the thing about work: I really don’t feel like doing any.
   
9. Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
   
10. My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
    
11. The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.
    
12. Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.
    
13. I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
    
14. To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?
    
    
    
    
    
    

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