Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Corduroy boxing gloves deliver the best punchlines.
   
2. Imagine being the sort of person who knows what every button on a TV remote does.
   
3. When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for 2?" I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see him too?"
   
4. These techno songs last longer than my first marriage
   
5. Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
   
6. Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
   
7. If a woman asks if she looks fat, it’s not enough to say “no.” You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary
   
8. What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
   
9. "The secret is that it`s all in the wrist!" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something
   
10. When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
    
11. You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)
    
12. It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
    
13. I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
    
14. 99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 2%
    
    
    
    
    
    

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