Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend
   
2. If I was a mortician I`d tie the shoe laces of dead people together, so if there ever was a zombie apocalypse it would be hilarious.
   
3. Not sure if my dog is barking for no reason or I’m about to be murdered.
   
4. If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
   
5. Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
   
6. Shout out to bees, willing to kill themselves just to inconvenience a hater.
   
7. Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
   
8. 1,000 Ways To Die is so unrealistic. There`s no episode where a man asks a woman `what`s wrong?`
   
9. Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard... PILLOW FIGHT!
   
10. My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
    
11. I need to start setting an alarm to go to bed.
    
12. Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I’d take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
    
13. I come from a long line of successful people. I have successfully stopped that tradition.
    
14. I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers
    
    
    
    
    
    

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