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1. 10 REASONS WHY I`M LAZY... you know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
   
2. Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
   
3. I like it like that
   
4. If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
   
5. That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
   
6. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
   
7. We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
   
8. You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of people wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
   
9. Tip for Sunday Church: Don`t forget to keep your phones on silent, especially if your ringtone is `I like big butts and I do not lie!`
   
10. When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
    
11. My best stories always end with the words ... "and then I got the hell out of there."
    
12. Some people are just pure evil...I should know because I`m one of them.
    
13. *pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
    
14. Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
    
    
    
    
    
    

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