Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
   
2. ALCOHOL! Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so.
   
3. My panic room is a walk-in beer cooler at the liquor store.
   
4. Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
   
5. I just want someone to touch me the way a woman touches a pair of shoes she cannot afford.
   
6. You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths...
   
7. Can everyone come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back & not say a word to my parents so they think I lived a cool double life.
   
8. if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid
   
9. MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
   
10. If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
    
11. cuss words = sentence enhancers
    
12. It makes me sad that the closest I`ll ever get to `hulking out` is splitting my trousers when I bend over.
    
13. I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
    
14. *sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be
    
    
    
    
    
    

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