Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
   
2. By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn`t yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance
   
3. This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear….. I’m just fat.
   
4. Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
   
5. OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
   
6. I have Beer.
   
7. Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..
   
8. My ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!
   
9. Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
   
10. I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough
    
11. PRO TIP: If you walk around the mall hitting kids in the face with the shopping bags, your wife won`t make you carry them.
    
12. Okay restaurants. Enough with the clever bathroom signs. A simple M and F will do. Sincerely, drunk people.
    
13. Work is the curse of the drinking class.
    
14. Ice skating is just walking in cursive.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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