Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Of all the things I have lost in life I mis my mind the most
   
2. Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
   
3. I give 2 star movies 5 stars on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
   
4. A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
   
5. My life is just one long improvisation.
   
6. I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
   
7. Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
   
8. My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I`m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
   
9. I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
   
10. Sometimes you have to flip out and go bat sh!t crazy to make a point.
    
11. Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
    
12. You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
    
13. This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
    
14. The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard"
    
    
    
    
    
    

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