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1. The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
   
2. I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
   
3. roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
   
4. How come "you`re a peach" is a complement but "you`re bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
   
5. The best part of time travel will be sleeping until noon and making it to work on time at 8am.
   
6. Don`t threaten to leave people, surprise them by actually leaving.
   
7. My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
   
8. Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
   
9. I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
   
10. I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
    
11. Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
    
12. "I`ll drink to that." -me to my next drink
    
13. Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
    
14. Alcohol – The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance “medicine.”
    
    
    
    
    
    

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