Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
   
2. I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
   
3. Saw some idiot put a water bottle where the Pringles go on the treadmill.
   
4. Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
   
5. I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
   
6. I’m pretty much always down for a snack.
   
7. I like to take, long, romantic walks, to the fridge. <3
   
8. If only I did everything with the same precision in which I craft my sandwiches.
   
9. hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
   
10. Some people need a shock collar. I need the remote.
    
11. We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
    
12. There is only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water lying about being milk.
    
13. Letting my dad play Angry Birds on my iPad is like showing a caveman fire.
    
14. Adult movies now available in 3D?!? Some thing I just don`t want to see flying at my face.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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