Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Five years ago my boss asked me where I wanted to be in five years. I finally know the answer: Not Here
   
2. "We`re pregnant!" -people who don`t understand science
   
3. you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
   
4. I watched my first Porn the other day. I looked so much younger back then!
   
5. I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
   
6. When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
   
7. I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
   
8. Interviewer: Have any weaknesses? Me: Bullets I: No, I mean… M: Knives I: I don’t think y… M: probably evil dragons I: … M: Focusing.
   
9. I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
   
10. Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming... 1. Whenever you`re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you`re right, shut up.
    
11. Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
    
12. People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
    
13. OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
    
14. gone fishing ¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>
    
    
    
    
    
    

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