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Now that football season is here, if anyone`s favorite team loses, they can just blame it on Trump.
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
I left a note in the break room at work saying I had found five bucks. I hadn`t found any money, but it was worth five dollars to learn which of my co-workers is a lying douchebag.
If you`re not procrastinating just a little, you`re not doing Saturday right.
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
I wish conversations were like user agreements, where I could skip to the end and just agree.
1) Go to Starbucks 2) Order coffee 3) Tell them your name is Waldo 4) Leave
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
I`m not saying you`re stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
I`m a little Stressed right now ... Just turn around and leave quietly and no one gets hurt.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
I`m having an out of money experience.
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.