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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Ever wonder why divorces are expensive? Because they are worth it!
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
I can`t relate to people who "forget to eat"
No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here.
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.