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Lets face it we have all tried to get something done before the microwave timer goes off.
I think the only way I’ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I’m in prison.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
is battling with eyelids
As long as there is an open textbook in front of you, nobody will question what you are doing on your laptop.
Oh no. I thought of a brilliant status to update while taking bath but by the time I got back to my phone I forgot it. This is why I hate taking a bath.
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
Why doesn`t someone invent a clear toaster? Then you could see how toasted your toast is while it`s toasting.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
If history has taught us anything, it`s that reheated french fries are gross.
I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!
Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.
We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?
I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn`t be allowed to leave Wal Mart.