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Half the journey is knowing where you’re parked.
I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
I`m looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
I love water. Especially when it`s frozen and surrounded by vodka.
Ordering a water with lemon says “I’m too cheap to buy a drink, but I still like a little zing.”
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
Save the US Postal Service. Have the Jehovah Witness and Mormons deliver the mail.
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
Guys, if she says she`s crazy, she`s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.
Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you`ll always be paying way too much out of pocket.
Research is what I`m doing when I don`t know what I`m doing.