Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she`s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
Facebook is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
This would be a "Good Morning!" status update, but it`s not, because morning sucks.
I`m pretty sure apple kid below needs help..
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
Well, it`s easy to tell I`m single. It`s Saturday night and I`m at home updating my facebook status...
If you cannot FACE your problem, then the problem is your FACE.
I`ve been baptized five times this week in five different churches. I wish the landlord would hurry up and fix my shower.
I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit`s door.
My new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone`s having a party
I`d like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those ba$tards are hiding something delicious in there I know it."