Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
If I was rich, I`d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch
I believe in equality. If we have five days of work, then we should have five day weekends as well.
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
Was shopping when a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling "why you ain`t got no babies?"I bet my father in law paid her
Every time a clerk asks "Did you find everything you need?" I always answer "No, I couldn`t find a hug"
I was bored of doing the same thing day in and day out,so I phoned the "Local Ramblers Club"....but the guy on the other end of the phone just went on and on and on!
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
Didn`t leave home today. It was too peopley out there.
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
We`re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You`re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
My wife accused me of spending too much time on Facebook. That’s funny, when did I get a wife?