Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
Apparently "I`ll break your god damn legs" isn`t the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.
Tequila... cuz the bed isn`t goin to spin itself!
The first rule of Right Club is that your wife is the only member of Right Club
A mistress is something between a Mister and a mattress.
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
I had my Crayola guy re-run the numbers,,, and there`s only 36 shades of grey
Be the type of gentleman that holds the door open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.