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I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from.
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my GF how her day was.
I love Alfredo sauce ... Unless you`re a dude named Alfredo.
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I`m always ready for bed.
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet ! But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza…
I only have one word for women who look at me like I’m some kind of sex object ... Hi.
When I "rage against the machine" the machine is usually a printer.
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.