Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
McDonald’s steps 1) Get really excited about it 2) Eat it 3) Regret eating it 4) Wish you were dead 5) Repeat in a few months
Look, all I`m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
Sorry I can`t go out tonight, I can`t find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours.
Hey bartender, pour me another, I see ugly people.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends` food looked like.
You can never really say `what`s on your mind` when you have family members on your Facebook.
Don`t ya wish you could hold people up to the light like a $20 bill to tell if they`re fake or real?
To calculate the average number of times a guy has sex per week, multiply the number of fantasy football leagues he`s in by the number zero.
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe