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Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
Behind every beautiful woman, is a beautiful behind.
Hey people who say I am boring and not interesting; FYI the police just called saying they want to talk to me because I am "a person of interest"
WTF, I feel like I pay these bills every month.
I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
Chinese food to go: $16.84. Gas to go get it: $2.62. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, next time, don`t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them.
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......
I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offended…I will get to you shortly.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.