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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
I`m thankful for many things, but mostly that there were no camera phones when I was in high school.
I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
When I’m getting off a crowded elevator I like to turn & look at someone who’s staying on and say,, “You’re in charge while I’m gone.”
I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
I was told that I had an alcohol problem, but I think me and Captain Morgan have it figured out..
If any of you have gotten any weird texts from me recently, its because my phone is working fine and I`m just trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?
Women my age expect a man to have his sh!t together by now. Time to start dating younger women.
I just read that ciggarettes cause rectal cancer, I should me fine, I was going to put them in my mouth anyway..
The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.
I wonder if my neighbors are more tired of hearing my dog bark or me screaming at it to shut the f*ck up.