Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward the time just to see if in the end it`s all worth it.
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
Some things are better left unsaid, but I`m probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway.
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
It`s pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it`s not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
I Googled, “Who gives a sh!t?” and I was not in the search results.
Don’t waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
It`s just adorable how the Liquor Store cashier always wishes me a good week as if I won`t be back tomorrow.
I tried kickboxing, but I couldn`t get the hang of walking with boxing gloves on my feet.
It makes me sad that the closest I`ll ever get to `hulking out` is splitting my trousers when I bend over.
All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd
Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you`ll always be paying way too much out of pocket.