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Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
Remember ladies, if on your 10th selfie you don’t have the perfect one to post you’re really just ugly.
is spending my children´s inheritance.
Sorry, I can`t hangout. My uncle`s cousin`s sister in law`s best friend`s insurance agent`s roommate`s pet goldfish drowned. It was tragic.
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, `Well, she`s there`
Sometimes I whisper, "I`m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world...
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
status uploading
“Shit ton” is my favorite unit of measurement.