Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
   
2. Just worked out, I will spend on average 7 years of my life in the bathroom. My wife will spend on average 6.9 years of her life knocking on the door saying " are you all right in there "
   
3. My new home security sign : "EBOLA QUARANTINE" - Deters salesman, thieves, and neighbors.
   
4. As a community service, I send random inmates letters how my life is going to cheer them up.
   
5. People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish.
   
6. I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
   
7. “Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
   
8. The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
   
9. Every have one of those moments where you look at yourself in the mirror and think "Damn if I weren`t me, I`d totally hit that."
   
10. I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.
    
11. A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
    
12. I cant wait to show everyone at work my new cough
    
13. YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake
    
14. You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn`t stolen.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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