Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks.
   
2. Considering I`m broke, I wonder if she`ll let me be her sugar-free daddy.
   
3. Been waiting at the pub for my wife to pick me up for hours now. How long does it take to have a baby, for Christs sake.
   
4. The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
   
5. My wife told me her favourite position is when i lay very very still for a few hours........late at night....until the alarm clock goes off in the morning.
   
6. If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently
   
7. My nickname is Gilette because I`m the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you
   
8. When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
   
9. Cake and pie can’t compete. If you put candles in a cake it’s birthday cake. Put candles in a pie and someone’s drunk in the kitchen.
   
10. I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
    
11. There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
    
12. I saw Tom Hanks and asked for his autograph. He abbreviated it, and it just said "Thanks"
    
13. Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
    
14. Do athletic people not know about Netflix?
    
    
    
    
    
    

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