Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
   
2. Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug
   
3. Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
   
4. Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
   
5. Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
   
6. You are here: X
   
7. When a cashier asks if you have a loyalty card just sigh and say, "My wife took everything when she left"
   
8. I always tell the person at the drive-thru that they are so much prettier than I pictured them when I was ordering.
   
9. As funny as it might be, It`s never polite to yell "Tuba Lesson!" Before farting.
   
10. The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth.
    
11. Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
    
12. Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
    
13. Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!
    
14. Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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