Saturday June 15, 2024

Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

Daily Silly Status has scoured the internet for the most witty statuses, silly statuses and down right funny statuses. We are pleased to now share our findings with you our Daily Silly Status readers. Enjoy our growing collection of over 25,000 silly statuses and share them with your friends and family and help bring a smile, chuckle or laugh others. Remember to check in for daily updates.

  1. There are 2 types of people that annoy me: Drunk people, when I`m sober. Sober people, when I`m drunk.
  2. Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
  3. Whenever I lock a car up I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
  4. I`m constantly bombarded with requests to check out `Candy Crush`… well I`ve spent hours searching the porn networks… I can`t bloody find her!
  5. I did 10 minutes of cardio this morning. I was still drunk from last night, and I was trying to tie my shoes but whatever.
  6. Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator.
  7. Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?
  8. I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you`re being chased by a giant spider.
  9. The hardest part about going through a divorce is finding a hitman you can trust.
  10. In an effort to explain marriage to my son I put Dora the Explorer on in Spanish and told him to figure it out or he sleeps on the couch.
  11. I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
  12. Some people are just pure evil...I should know because I`m one of them.
  13. Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
  14. I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.