Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Sometimes I say stuff without even meaning to be funny and I`m like "Man, my subconsicious is hilarious!"
   
2. I`m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
   
3. "We have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants..." - me explaining underwear to aliens.
   
4. A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.
   
5. My wife just opened a jar of pickles by herself and I can`t help but think that my days around here are numbered...
   
6. When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
   
7. Sometimes it would be nice if the world had an off switch.
   
8. So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
   
9. I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn`t even lift him.
   
10. I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
    
11. No one understands you better than some crazy weirdos on the internet.
    
12. There`s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
    
13. Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
    
14. I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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